New Simanim for Rosh Hashanah

Posted on October 5th, 2008 by cyberdov

From a recent thread on Areivim:

Sardines - so the ‘din’ should ’sar’ from us
Brocolli - “bracha li”
Avocado - so we should merit a good advocate

and the best one…

One should eat lettuce, half a raisin, and celery, and say: “Let us have a raise in salary”.

Ouch.
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Filed under: Humor, Torah

New Rabbi’s Sermon

Posted on July 30th, 2008 by cyberdov

The new Rabbi, wanting to make a good impression on the community on his first Shabbat, gave a 3 hour, fire and brimstone sermon about the importance of charity. He came home visibly exhausted. His wife asked him anxiously, “How did your sermon go over”?
“50% successful,” he replied. “The poor people are willing to accept [...]

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Filed under: , Humor